Virtual Musings

New May's Resolutions

2011-04-30T16:42:00.002-06:00

So, I have this blog that I haven't posted on in a year.

Well, now that I'm out of school and have a life again outside of school and work, I'll record a bit about it. So that's my new May resolution.

We have a new daughter, M, and our four-year old daughter, E. M lies here in my lap as I type, just as her sister did when I was in school. I have had the last month off of work (since her birth), and it has been wonderful.

Nick Jr. not Family-friendly

2010-05-02T11:07:00.002-06:00

Nick Jr. has linked to addictinggames.com. Why? Well, here's how it works: Viacom, Nickelodeon's parent company, is also the parent company of MTV, which hosts addictinggames.com; it only makes business sense to link back to another page hosted by that family of companies. The trouble is that the addictinggames.com contains objectionable content. I went to www.nickjr.com, checked this out for myself, and wrote Nick Jr. the following letter through their "Contact Us" link. If you agree with me, please write to them today, and invite your friends to do the same!

At the bottom of nickjr.com you have a section called "nickelodeon kids and family websites" which contains links to addictinggames.com. Visit that site for just a minute. It is NOT family friendly. Some of the offending categories are: fighting, naughty, bloody, cute shooter, war, and zombie. The list continues.

While it is prudent for parents to supervise their children's use of the internet, it is also prudent to categorize your links correctly. I am appalled that you link to a page with quasi-pornographic games like Perry the Sneak. Pornography has been causing enormous problems in society, and for people in the IT field, pornography addiction is a leading cause of firings! Way to go, NickJr, getting them addicted early on!

While addictinggames.com is a page hosted by MTV, part of your parent company, it is reprehensible to link to that page from this one. I understand that marketing shows that this is a smart thing to do. Morals, on the other hand, prohibit poisoning children in such a fashion.

Individuals must decide what is right and what is wrong, and so must corporations, which consist of individuals making the same decisions day after day. It is an inescapable decision. Please decide to remove all links to addictinggames.com from nickjr, so that children will not be poisoned at such an impressionable age.

Microsoft Job Offer

2009-11-21T10:42:00.002-07:00

As many of my friends know, because people have contacted them for personal references, I have begun my job search for work to begin in May 2010.

Well, the job search has born fruit: Last night I was offered a job by Microsoft! Pay and benefits are amazing - nobody else comes close, on either count.

Net Neutrality

2009-11-12T20:45:00.002-07:00

What if your favorite website didn't have enough money to pay the internet providers for high speed preference? Or if your ISP decided that your favorite website was a competitor and wouldn't let you get there?

Sound ridiculous? AT&T, Verizon, Comcast and others want to make this happen!

If they succeed, the internet as we know it will cease to exist. What??? Well, if you want to make a webpage right now and start your own business, it's fairly inexpensive ($20/month or less). In the internet that these telecomm corporations want, that cost goes up a great deal.

Right now, a bill is up for consideration that can make Net Neutrality federal law. Net Neutrality is what we currently experience on the internet. Every site's data is treated the same coming down the wire to your house - nobody receives preferential treatment.

Check out this site for more information: http://www.savetheinternet.com/faq#

Most funny Phishing Email ever!

2009-10-09T06:59:00.003-06:00

The following is the text of an email I received from a phisher in Poland. Doesn't this sound like the worst Dragnet spoof ever? And really, would the director write to li'l ol' me personally? I feel so special that they aren't just knocking on my front door! Good heavens, I hope nobody falls for this...

From: Federal Bureau of Investigation Dept: Anti-Terrorist & Monetary Crimes Division
Office: Washington, D.C. Headquarters
Address: J. Edgar Hoover Building93 Pennsylvania Avenue, Nw Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

Attention Funds Beneficiary,

This is to officially inform you that a foreign bank from West Africa have transferred funds worth Millions of United States Dollars with your name as the beneficiary. This foreign bank knows that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from their location to your account and therefore they used what is known as Secret Diplomatic Transit Payment (S.T.D.P) to do this transfer and they are currently awaiting a confirmation from you for final crediting to your account. Secret diplomatic payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities, so if you are not intending to finance terrorism and your transaction is legitimate, why then did you agree to receive these funds through this means that was used instead of a direct transfer to your account?

Our findings shows that this method of transfer was used in the past to finance terrorist acts, so there is need to correct this problem now to avoid you getting into trouble when the funds reflects in your account. Under the United Nations monetary rules it is our duty as a world wide commission to correct this little problem before this fund will be credited into your personal account. Due to the increased difficulty and security measures set up by the United States for the transfer of funds from foreign banks, the FBI foreign bank commission have stopped the transfer on its way to debit your reserve account and pay you through a secured diplomatic transit account (s.d.t.a) We govern and oversee funds transfer for the World Bank and the rest of the world.

We demand your immediate response with full details of the transaction you are doing that involved this huge sum because the funds are currently being held in our custody. You must provide us with a Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) within 3 days from the world local bank that authorized the fund transfer to certify that the funds you are about to receive are clean and free from terrorist and drug. Until this document is provided we shall have cause to cross and impound the transfer and will come to your house to arrest you.

The Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, naturalization, or military service. This Condition is Valid until 30th of this month after which the funds shall be confiscated and legal action will be taken against you.

Guarantee: Funds will be released upon confirmation of the DIST document.

NOTE: We have requested for the DIST document to make available the most complete and update records possible for the enhancement of public safety, welfare and security of Society while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights. If you fail to provide the Document to us, we will charge you with the financial crimes. The United Nations Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Service (CJIS) Division processes these requests to check illegal activities.

Robert S. Mueller, III
(FBI Director)

Finally! The gov't gets it right!

2009-08-12T09:12:00.003-06:00

A six-year-old girl goes to the kitchen to get a snack. Only, this isn't your ordinary snack-obtaining mission. You can't get caught by the grown-ups, and if you do, you get tied up for days, surrounded by things that scare you.

Sounds pretty sick, huh?

Well, that's exactly what happened to this little girl, and thankfully, someone who knew turned in the bad guys... her family. Mom and Dad were away, and her relatives had been caring for her. What a sweet way to care for her: binding her up and surrounding her by snakes and spiders that scare her.

It's heartbreaking to me as a father that someone would do this to a child. Why, oh why do we think in this country that little children are to be treated horrendously, and as long as you are the guardian, it should be okay?

The mentality that allows spanking, taken a little further, is the same that allows this treatment. Spanking is the single most scary thing that happened to me as a child - and I did dumb things that nearly killed me. Putting a child in line through fear and pain is wrong. It is not part of raising a child to become a responsible, honorable adult.

Stopping violence begins at home with gentle parenting - with any child. Of course some children will offer tougher challenges - we're all different. It doesn't mean that they need to be forced into submission. If that's your thought, you probably have a leader. Turn that around and use that to the child's advantage; don't try to beat/scare it out of her/him.

How can you develop empathy that you've never experienced? You can't! That's how!

A time to play, a time to let go

2009-07-11T09:53:00.002-06:00

Ok, so that's not quite how the scripture in Ecclesiastes goes, but this is in the same spirit.

Years ago, when Sea Gal had been married about 18 months, we purchased an upright grand piano at a garage sale in Seattle. It was UGLY! Salmon pink, battleship grey, mint green, white - these were all colors of paint that had been put on this piano - and not artistically. It's not that I wouldn't appreciate art with those colors - there's an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weenie chance I could appreciate it. So, anyway, it was a sight to behold.

Over the years, we refinished much of the piano to the original black cherry finish it had when made in the early 20th century, tuned it, made it fairly nice. It has a beautiful sound. The problem is that it still needs some work, and I frankly don't have the time, funds, and place to work on it. So, after playing it for five years, it was time to let go. We're moving in the spring of 2010, and I'd rather get rid of big things we don't need prior to that date.

I'd like a piano that I don't need to completely rebuild, and a friend wanted to pick up where I left off. So this morning, we gave our piano to a dear friend - and I'm so excited to see her finish the project and have a beautiful upright grand piano. I love watching a person's eyes light up like hers did when the piano was at the bottom of our stairs.

A piano seems to be a wonderful addition to a home - makes it somehow more cozy. We've still got an organ (which has a similar effect).

Theft - at BYU!

2009-06-04T07:01:00.002-06:00

I came to BYU five years ago for school with some kind prejudices. Like most prejudices, they turned out to be so false. I expected people to be of a similar kind mindset as myself, keep the basic 10 commandments... like "Thou shalt not steal[!]" Ok, I know the exclamation point wasn't there, but holy cow, people! All the folks I know in my major (there are less than 100 of us) are LDS.

I left a $30 kit in a room where that kit is frequently used. Before you go "well you shouldn't have left it there," get this: we leave personal equipment worth hundreds and thousands of dollars in these secured rooms, one of which is where I left this great, inexpensive kit. Someone took it. But you knew that was coming.

If I were a better man, I would just be sad someone stole. The truth is I am very angry! IF IT AIN'T YERS, DON'T TOUCH IT! Is it really that hard? AND AT BYU! Come on!

Gay Marriage in New York?

2009-04-16T09:38:00.002-06:00

Governor Paterson of NY is spearheading the effort to make marriage legal between any two consenting adults, regardless of sex.

He points out that while members of some religions may take issue with this, it is not up to the state to determine which people may marry.

Now wait a minute! NOT that I want a diamond-shaped family tree, but don't they do that already? Don't you have to be just-so-unrelated to a person to marry them?

Perhaps the issue here lies in the definition of marriage. This is where people, like me, who believe that marriage should be defined as a union between a man and a woman, need to work to make that a definition recognized by our governments. In such a case, the discussion must change a bit. Obviously, these people who love each other should be able to have many (if not all) of the same rights as heterosexual couples (hospital visitation rights, etc.).

It is up to a people to define what is right and what is wrong. The government then backs that definition. It seems to me that as a people we have come to a point where we call good evil and evil good (sound familiar anyone?).

While I say that homosexual couples should have the rights that heterosexual couples do, put this in a civil union. The issue is that they want to redefine a millennia-old definition of a sacred institution. Well, it's not theirs to do with as they please.

But as we haven't made the definition legal, here's what's happening:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/16/paterson-unveils-same-sex-marriage-bill/?hp

It is so time to act, people!

Autism Recovery

2009-04-15T14:59:00.002-06:00

Is autism permanent? Some say no.

Here's a case where things have gone very well for this family, including an autistic little boy. From the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/15/books/15horse.html?em.

I was not surprised to see Paul Offit stick his nose in here and say that there is no real hope...

"...and we might have been happy."

2009-03-28T18:36:00.002-06:00

So, imagine that a rather young age, say your teens, your dad came home and said "We're moving." Sure, this happened to a lot of us. So, let's suppose you lived in a society where this was not common, and in fact, you knew as a teenager where you would grow old, on the family property (you had your own area set up already). It was nice, you were well off.

So again, your dad says, "We're moving - get only your basic supplies (clothes, food) and pack it up. Some people want to kill me." You obediently take off from your nice house in the city, leaving all your comforts behind, and start walking into the desert with your parents and three brothers.

You live in the desert for a long while, returning to the city once a few months later to get a heavy brass book that your dad says is important; in fact, he says that God told him to send you to get it. So, you take the long journey back to the city, and ask the man who has the book you need to give it to you.

He says no.

"Okay," you think, "let's try to buy it from him." You go back to your house (the one where you left all your nice things, including riches), and collect your riches to buy the book from him. Again, you ask him for the book, in exchange for your riches. He decides that he likes your stuff, and doesn't want to be parted from the book (which is in his treasury). He orders his guards to kill you. You and your three brothers run for your lives. Skip a few hours - you've gotten the book, and a new friend, who has decided to come live with you in the desert.

Back out into the desert - when you get back, you find out that between the journeying (it was a long walk back to the city, probably weeks) and fenagling to get the book, your mother thought you died.

Some more time passes (between a few months and a few years), and your dad sends you back to the city again - to get a family of beautiful women to come out into the desert with you. No argument there - off you go!

Skip forward a few years - it's been eight years since the day your dad came home and said you were leaving. After living in the desert, trying not to be found by people who would do you harm, getting married, having children in the desert, your father-in-law dying in the desert (made your wife very sad), something really good has happened: you have come to the greenest place you have seen in ages, if ever. There are fruit, delightsome foods, oh - and it's by the sea. How marvelous is this?!

You start to get comfortable, and a few days later, you hear that God has instructed your family to cross the sea.

How do you respond?

Two of the brothers in this story were originally very angry. They said something along these lines: "[Look], thsee many years we have suffered in the wilderness, which time we might have enjoyed our possessions and the land of our inheritance" (remember, they knew where they were going to grow old "yea, and we might have been happy."

Someone in the 1800's decided that sentence ended with a period; I think it must have been an exclamation - perhaps yelled. Laman and Lemuel must have been so daunted at the thought that they didn't get to rest even after all they and their wives had been through. It sounds like they loved their wives, despite every thing else wrong with them.

Why did I post about this?

Life is hard. It varies in difficulty, and in visibility to other of that difficulty. There are easy times, and there are times when your mettle is tested. Those are the times when you can find out what you are made of. Despite great difficulty, you can still be happy during most of those trying times - at least, this is my experience. You see, the sad truth of the matter is that while this was supremely difficult, Laman and Lemuel chose to be unhappy through most of it. Not all the people in the troupe chose as they did though, which indicates that it was possible to be happy - others were.

Be happy - it's a choice.

There are only two churches

2009-03-11T06:27:00.003-06:00

I was reading in 1 Nephi 14:10 this morning, and I began to consider some things I have tried to consider in passing. Perhaps it is time to consider them more fully.

From the verse, "Behold there are save ^atwo churches only; the one is the church of the Lamb of God, and the ^bother is the church of the ^cdevil; wherefore, ^dwhoso belongeth not to the church of the Lamb of God belongeth to that great church, which is the mother of abominations[.]"

What does this mean then? At first glance, if you are not a member of Christ's church, then you're done for. What does that mean, to be a member of Christ's church? Does that mean that if you perform the correct rites (baptism, etc.) that you are in, and if you don't you are in the church of the devil? That doesn't make sense to me.

I think C.S. Lewis had it right in his book, The Last Battle. Consider the Calormen guard who was honest, and believed his commanding officer when told that his benevolent god, Tash, was in the wooden shed. When this good man went into the shed, he entered not into the presence of the evil demon Tash, but into the presence of Aslan. And remember, Lewis does everything but say the words "Aslan is Jesus" in his writing. Now, the guard was rather confused, as he didn't expect to be in the presence of Aslan, yet Aslan kindly explained that as the guard had done the works that were those Aslan desired, good, righteous works, he truly worshipped Aslan, whatever title he may have placed on him, and however he may have pictured him to appear.

So this is the clincher, the real burning question for each of us: Do I belong to the church of Christ or to the church of the devil? Being able to do great works in the name of Christ does not mean that I belong to His church - I shall still be cast out if my heart really isn't in it, is not really given to the Lord. Do I continually dedicate my heart to the Lord? Am I constantly His? Or do I "try to live in Zion and have a vacation home in Babylon?" I fear being more like Lot's wife than I would admit.

I have found it easy over the years to say "well, I am in the church of Christ, and people in [any certain group] are in the church of the devil." Perhaps it is not so cut and dry, and perhaps the ground on which I stood at such a judgmental time was not nearly as solid as I believed.

If I have hurt you by judging you so harshly and being so condescending, I truly am sorry.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

2009-03-05T21:20:00.003-07:00

This is a great position piece Jillynn and I watched tonight - here are some of our thoughts on the matter, mostly mine to be honest. It's currently on instant play on Netflix.

This film is a defense of theism - not a bad thing in a day when the existence of deity is denied in "intelligent" circles. Intelligent Design is not about religion, but it implies that deity may exist, while not attempting to enter such an impossible realm as to prove that premise.

It is interesting that opponents of ID state that it hasn't a foot to stand on - that there is no proof. Others would say that "all things denote there is a God." Perhaps this is a difference in belief/philosophy, as one interviewee states. Neither biogenesis nor ID is more scientific than the other - they stop short of answering the difficult question of how life began with irrefutable scientific evidence. In other words - each side requires some belief in the tenets of its arguments, perhaps even faith to follow along.

Here's the thing - science is ever evolving. It is our learning, our explanation for how the world works. Science has improved dramatically in the last 500 years, particularly in the last 200 years. We have learned a lot, but science doesn't have all of the answers, and just because someone enters a realm that some scientists deem incorrect and not worthy of time (not morally wrong, just an unworthy pursuit), does not mean the topic should not be explored.

I suppose, as a very strong theist, the issue is thus: each individual must decide for herself if the idea of biogenesis appeals more to her or if intelligent design appeals more to her. Absolute tangible proof seems slippery, and I think it's supposed to be that way. If a man wants to investigate biogenesis, he should - science leads to many truths, and I don't know what he will discover. If an individual decides to investigate intelligent design, of course that individual should do so. Neither side should be quashed because the powers that be are against it, and I think this was one of the basic tenets of Stein's show.

Obviously, he points out the dangers of science mixed with the philosophies of men (another completely mutable entity) untempered by morality. Perhaps the scientist with the tumor stated it best when he spoke of how science alone removed hope from life. Pure science and pure religion are wonderful companions, as they are most agreeable with each other.

One of my religion professors, an Egyptologist, probably put it best - "Filter science through your religion, not your religion through science. The textbooks you use now will be replaced in five years time because we'll have learned that most of what is in them is wrong anyway."

Finally found the love of a lifetime...

2009-01-04T23:30:00.002-07:00

So, scientists have found that couples who have been together for 20+ years can have the same reactions to each other as newly enamored couples.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/04/true.love.found/index.html

When I think of my wife and going home after school or work, and I still get excited and giddy. Marriage was a wonderful beginning to a marvelous life. And don't think our life hasn't had its challenges - it has! So, if you find that special someone when you're young, if you are both willing to give everything for each other, go for it!

Marrying Sea Gal was definitely the best decision of my life.

Personal Leadership Theory

2009-01-04T11:17:00.004-07:00

In answer to the challenge of writing a personal leadership theory in twenty words or less, I wrote the following:

Leaders give, love, encourage, believe, know, try, and do, seeking and promoting excellence, especially in adversity.

We were then to write a one- to two-page explication.

Leaders give of themselves. What a leader gives may not be tangible, but it is always material. Whether giving energy, time, consideration, counsel, or some other precious commodity, a leader gives what is needed, even when giving is costly. Leaders give when they do not believe that they have any more to give. This single attribute distinguishes leaders.

Leaders love people and individuals. This love is shown in action, in word, in silence, and in listening. Love is shown with courage. This love is what permits leaders to lead; love draws mankind to true leaders more ardently than charisma. Love is that essential intangible that leaders give of themselves. Without this attribute, there is no leadership; it begets devotion of others to leaders and of leaders to those around them. Love motivates leaders to give; it pushes them to hope when hope seems in vain, to do when action seems futile, to care when caring is painful, to suffer when their suffering will liberate others, and to lift up those around them.

Leaders encourage others to reach new heights by setting and achieving difficult-yet-reasonable goals, helping others to recognize their strength when others only perceive weakness. Leaders remember and recognize potential. Potential is so nearly tangible, and must be reached for by every human being for that person to attain it. They remember that difficult things are not impossible; they are merely difficult.

Leaders believe that challenges are opportunities for growth. They see difficulty with an optimism that is contagious. Leaders have a vision of what they and those around them may achieve. If circumstances limit that potential, then leaders do what they can to change the circumstances of themselves or those around them. The potential still exists, even if some barrier exists – that barrier is merely a hurdle to be jumped.

Leaders know that they can improve, that there is a better way, and that personal improvement is imperative. They know what they want to accomplish, and they know how they want to accomplish that goal. Leaders know that failure is merely a precursor to success, and that neither failure nor success should be feared. Leaders know their own limits, and consistently push beyond them.

Armed with knowledge, leaders try. Given an idea, leaders try. They make meaningful efforts when others see that the task is large and are too daunted to try. When leaders understand a principle, they help others understand and realize that principle in their own lives, even when they are not trying to teach. This is because when leaders understand principles, they try to live them. Trying means that failure is an option. It means that on occasion, results will not be as hoped for. Leaders know that failure is not defeat, it is a stepping stone, and it is upon a staircase of failed attempts that leaders climb to success. The faint-hearted do not try, though they claim otherwise when faced with failure.

Leaders do what needs to be done, because they understand that there is no guarantee that someone else will do it. They do what should be done, because it is right. They act, because inaction is an action, a choice, and leaders are seeking excellence. Excellence is unattainable through a course of inaction. Inaction impoverishes the human condition, and leaders enrich humanity by their choice to act, instead of being acted upon.

Leaders know that each individual can be excellent. Leaders seek the ways wherein they may excel, and they help others to do the same. At no time does a leader do this more than when it is difficult, when others say it cannot be done. Leaders shine in the furnace of affliction, because they are of a substance that is not flakey; they are not consumed, but made brighter. They are made of something that others cannot destroy. As leaders seek to be excellent, they spread this fervor to those around them. Leaders help others to become leaders.

Third Hand Smoke Dangerous!

2009-01-03T19:18:00.002-07:00

You probably read this and had the same reaction I did when I read this NY Times article tonight. What the heck is 'third-hand smoke?'"

"That’s the term being used to describe the invisible yet toxic brew of gases and particles clinging to smokers’ hair and clothing, not to mention cushions and carpeting, that lingers long after smoke has cleared from a room. The residue includes heavy metals, carcinogens and even radioactive materials that young children can get on their hands and ingest, especially if they’re crawling or playing on the floor."

Here's the link to the article I culled this quote from: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/03
/health/research/03smoke.html?em.

We know that smoking kills those addicted to the cancer sticks. We know that it kills those around them. Logic could carry on to say that being around the chemicals that stick to things long after the smoke seems to have settled will still be dangerous. Well, now, researchers have supported this. If you smoke, you are killing those around you. If you are around someone who has been smoking, and you can perceive it, you are perceiving third-hand smoke and being poisoned. Does this mean we should shun smokers? No. We should love them, and encourage them to stop smoking. Does "encourage them to stop smoking" mean put up with them smoking around us? No. Does this mean educating them about what they are really doing to those around them? Definitely. And this now means that they are hurting you by having smoked and bringing those chemicals into your home on their clothes. We can tell them that we want them around, but not the toxins they soak in. Smokers are people too, so this should be handled with care, love, and respect.

So - here's where it gets controversial, and perhaps a bit rude. I warned you. And yes, this is a continuation of a conversation I had with a smoker who is a friend of mine.

If you smoke around my children, be prepared to be bawled out. I will not put up with it. I have permanent respiratory problems due to being around smokers frequently during my childhood. I am also extraordinarily susceptible to respiratory illnesses. I spend more than half the year (spread out) with a cough, sinus infection, and/or chest congestion. Doctors can't seem to beat it.

Perhaps my bawling you out will be seen as an act of disrespect. Well, no, it's really just that I respect my family's health more than your egotistic desire to have another smoke, whatever the costs. And this egocentricity seems to extend to "don't confuse me with the facts." Smokers don't seem to like the facts when presented with them.

Truth may not be fun. Deal with it. You choose it every day by lighting up. Don't excuse yourself - just try again to do better than yesterday - a cigarette less daily this week than last week. And if you think I don't understand addiction, guess again. I understand better than you might think - I just keep it rather private. And I know it can be beaten. There is hope!

Someone tried to tell me that my respiratory issues are due to my lack of exercise, or something, anything--else. Try again! Perhaps try accepting some responsibility that you hurt other people when you smoke. Don't try to salve your conscience by telling me that my respiratory problems are due to the pollution caused by cars driving down the street. And for the record, the toxins coming out of your cigarette are far worse than those coming out of my tailpipe. Cars have emissions controls - cigarettes don't. Sorry, that's a poor argument.

And no, science is not divided on this issue. You may find some non-peer-reviewed article that says that smoking is not harmful to you, or perhaps it may say that smoking is not harmful to those around smokers. Good luck finding a peer-reviewed (and thus credible, acknowledged and screened in the scientific community) that spouts such "information".

Muslims are people too!

2009-01-02T12:56:00.004-07:00

A family was kicked off a plane for talking about where the safest place to sit would be. I have often talked with people who are afraid to fly for one reason or another. It is not odd that a family should discuss where they will feel the most comfortable during their journey on the plane. Now, give those people the stereotypical dress and grooming associated with many Muslims, and we have a problem. WHAT??? I mean, really! Did you think this through?

http://uk.reuters.com/article/burningIssues/idUKTRE5012XV20090102

We can't be paranoid. I mean, you can, but really, do you want to live like that? Caution is good - but just because somebody talks about where is the safest place to be does not make them a security threat. Good heavens! Think people - please!

Charging too much for text messages?

2008-12-30T20:42:00.002-07:00

Did you ever feel that you were being charged too much for the tiny amount of data you send in a text message? $10 a month? Again - this could be in SNL's "Really!" segment. It takes next to nothing to send a text message. It is one of the smallest packets of information used today. Phone calls actually require some work to send. Text messages are a cakewalk - in fact, they're so small they get tucked inside of another packet that your phone has to send to communicate with the tower in the first place just to say, "I'm here, if anyone wants to call me."

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/28/business/28digi.html?_r=1&em=&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1230668512-q+r/s+Y+gEm5tIkDYeKt+A

A rip-off? I certainly think so, especially after discussing this in my digital communications class last semester. Texting should be nearly free (if not simply included free with any voice plan, or purchased minutes - no increase in the standard plan price should accompany such a change). Anyway - you be the judge. Things are going to get a little interesting here if a price-fixing hearing is begun.

Gas Prices

2008-12-27T17:13:00.002-07:00

Four months ago, I was paying the most for a tank of gas I had ever paid. In fact, I couldn't fill my tank when it got close to empty by using my debit card. There's a $49 limit, you see, and it cost more than that to fill my tank.

Today, I did something I haven't done since SeaGal and I were dating, or perhaps at the very beginning of our marriage: I filled the tank to our car for less than $20! Now, it is a different car, smaller tank, etc., so there's some falseness to my perception of just how cheap gas has gotten, but I'm still elated. It would have been around $24 to fill the tank if we still had the old car. Pretty cheap compared to what we had been paying.

Isn't it just a bit odd that this dramatic decrease in gasoline prices coincides with the end of our oil-baron's rule (Oh, sorry! I meant the end of George W. Bush's presidency)? Yes, I voted for him the second time. I've changed a lot in the last four years. I'm a registered Republican who votes like a Democrat. It is probably time to remove myself from the Republican Party.

So, when Emperor Bush was elected the first time, I was a missionary. I felt the impact of the beginning of his presidency, even though I was so far out of the loop on the news I didn't even know he was the president at the time. I was serving a mission in Long Island, NY, so I didn't read the news at all. The price of gasoline doubled. On the meager stipend we were given as missionaries for our sustenance and transportation, the doubled gas price was a concern. Looking back, I believe I understand a bit better what happened at the gas pump in the winter of 2001.

Bush's cronies no longer had people watching them, and the price suddenly increased dramatically. Turns out that this worked just fine, the American public kept purchasing gasoline. The oil companies' coffers quickly filled with more money than ever before. It fluctuated back down below $2.00 again by the next winter. Once Bush's reelection was sure, the price shot up, and continued to do so for a long while, just now returning to what I find to be a reasonable price.

Well, now that's over! Hooray! At least, I hope. Perhaps my poor understanding of economics doesn't really shed any light on this issue. But then again...

At any rate, here's hoping that my poor understanding has a foot to stand on, and gas prices stay lower for the next 4-8 years.

Majel Barret Roddenberry Dies

2008-12-26T15:22:00.002-07:00

Wow! Another era ends. Majel Barret has passed away.

For those of you not quite nerdy enough to know, she was the wife of Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek. She had various parts through the incarnations of Star Trek, including the computer in most of the series (how do you pluralize series: "serieses?"). She just finished one last time in that role on the newest Star Trek movie (soon to be released).

This was a week ago, but here is the link to the family website and AP obit.
http://www.legacy.com/LATimes/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonID=121554052
http://www.roddenberry.com/?action=site.majel

I just learned that in the original pilot sent to NBC, she was cast as the second in command on the Enterprise. How cool is that? The Roddenberrys certainly rocked the boat.

Eve's Second Christmas

2008-12-25T10:14:00.010-07:00

What a delight it is to watch her open her gifts with such joy! This year she received two books from Grandpa and a miniature farm set, comprised of a barn, cow, calf, horse, foal, ewe, and a lamb.

Here are some fun pictures and videos of Christmas morning:

This book about a farmer caring for his farm animals goes great with the farm!

Prince Caspian Flops

2008-12-24T10:30:00.002-07:00

When I was a child, starting around when I was seven or so, my great grandparents began giving me a book at Christmas and on my birthday. They began with the Chronicles of Narnia. I was so excited to get the next book each time. I loved reading them with my wife again a couple years ago. There is something precious about the old yellowed and weathered pages and bindings, traveling the same lines again with my sweetheart.

C.S. Lewis's work on this series is a beautiful depiction of the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His interactions with us, His children. I'll post about that later...

Now, I'm a sucker for a good movie. In fact, I'm not even that picky about them (considerthat I like Transformers, Iron Man, Labyrinth). I was so very excited when The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe came out in 2005. They strayed from the book a bit, but not too much. Their additions were at least in line (fit in) with the original story. I was excited again to watch Prince Caspian when we got it from Netflix last night.

My mistake. In the first half hour, they tore through the first 100 pages of the book (it's only 200 pages long), and until the last 15 minutes of the movie, they made up stuff. So, let me enumerate a partial list of crimes against Lewis:

Peter became more of a pretty boy
Butchering of Lucy's encounter with Aslan
Adding of romance between Susan and Caspian
Reintroducing Jadis (the White Witch) more than was done in the book - she was only mentioned in the book, not nearly reconstituted.
Leading/leaving of the people to die in the castle (did I just forget this part in the book?)
Susan is annoying! She was made of sterner, more devoted stuff in the books (until The Last Battle, but that's another story entirely)
Susan was powerful for a moment, but women always have to be saved, so Prince Caspian comes and saves the day when she suddenly loses her archery skills in the heat of battle, protecting Lucy from pursuers. And Caspian does a crummy job of it, one gets away and keeps chasing Lucy.

Well, that's enough of a tirade about that... I'll keep the book series, but I will certainly not buy the newest incarnation of the live-action Chronicles of Narnia. My wife says it feels like we were used. They took the good name made by Lewis and duped us into watching a mediocre movie made terrible by the false association with a great book. Imitation is supposed to be the most sincere form of flattery - well, I guess they just don't know how to flatter, because a good imitation this was not.

A New Hope

2008-11-05T07:29:00.003-07:00

Hey, I told you on the first post, this was a nerdy/geeky blog. Get over it. ;)

I'm thrilled with the decision of my country. I have been worried about where we are going as a nation, what kind of a people we are collectively, and what our values are.

And how great is it to live in a time when a man who has been in the political arena for a very short time can get to the White House? And, as much as I try to leave race out of things, the fact that he is an African American makes it only that much more remarkable. I believe Dr. King would be thrilled. His dream is being realized.

I wonder if racial tensions within our country will lessen. Perhaps some of our brothers and sisters who are bigots will begin to see another way while he is president. Perhaps they will begin to see that Ghandi was right: we are all just children of the same God.

In 1989, as he left office, Ronald Reagan alluded to the "city upon a hill" in John Winthrop's treatise A Model of Christian Charity by saying, "In my mind it was a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, wind-swept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace, a city with free prots that hummed with commerce and creativity, and if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here. That's how I saw it and see it still." I think that our city on the hill has been trying to hide itself to no avail. We are still watched, and the great American Experiment is not over yet. I have questioned its direction of late. That said, I think that with Mr. Obama's stated intentions regarding foreign policy, the doors that are now slammed, barred, and bolted in that city's walls may open again. They were slammed hard after 9/11, and I can understand that. I just don't see it now the way Reagan saw it when I was a child. I hope to see it change in that direction again while my children are growing up.

Great Soul Gandhi

2008-11-04T00:23:00.002-07:00

WARNING: Parents, this may be a rough read. It was tough to write.

In 1982, when I was still toddling about in diapers, a movie was created about Mohandas Karmchand Gandhi. I am very grateful that this movie was made, as it has inspired within me a desire to learn more about him and his philosophies. He seems to me to be one, who like C.S. Lewis, opened himself to being led by the hand of God to influence a great number of people for great good.

I highly recommend the movie "Gandhi" with Ben Kingsley as Gandhi.

For others uneducated as I am, in the movie it is recorded that the people began calling him Mahatma, which is the title that I mistook for his name until last week when I began to watch this film. Mahatma means "great soul."

He maintained his principles at great personal cost. I know of few others who have done so with such dignity, among them Joseph Smith, Jr. Gandhi kept matters in a proper perspective - he never referred to racial issues; instead, he referred to issues between children of a single God, no matter how they might worship Him.

Near the end of his life, independence from the tyranny of Great Britain was granted to India, and it promptly split into India and Pakistan. A brief civil war ensued, during which Gandhi began to fast until the fighting should end - even when that meant that he might die prior to the end of the fighting.

I haven't gotten to study much of Gandhi's life at all, so I cannot verify the veracity of the story shown in the movie, but this story bears retelling for a few reasons. The fighting was subsiding, and nearly stopped. A Hindu man brought food to Gandhi and threw it upon him as he lay in his bed, too weak to move very far at all. He said, "I'm already going to hell. I won't have your death on my soul as well." Gandhi asked him why he believed that he was going to hell. The man answered that he had killed a small Muslim child, had crushed his head against the wall. He explained that he had done so in retaliation for Muslims killing his little boy. He gestured about the height of my little girl, and I began to cry as I watched this scene at Gandhi's bedside. No images were shown of the violence, only the broken heart of a man who had done something which he knew to be abominable to God. Gandhi told the man, "I know a way out of hell. Find a small Muslim boy of about this height," he gestured the height the man had shown of his own son, "whose Muslim parents have been killed. Raise him as your own son, as a Muslim."

He understood that God is forgiving, but that he requires of us restitution up to where it can be given.

I cried, alone in my living room as I watched this scene. My daughter lies in the arms of my wife in our bed right now, and they were there when I watched this movie. I cried, because I am too familiar with some of the loss this man experienced. I cried for the pangs of conscience he seemed to have suffered after committing such an atrocity. I do not comprehend how people can be so cruel to one another. At the same time as I cried for such great pain and loss, I felt comfort that God is forgiving of our sins. His mercy and love are incomprehensible.

Gandhi pointed out that Christianity was wonderful in concept. He said that it would be a marvelous thing if those that claimed to be Christians would follow its precepts.

I would challenge you: this week, try to live a more Christ-like life. You never know who looks to you as an example.

Bible Given Stronger Historical Support

2008-10-30T21:10:00.002-06:00

So, some folks find the Bible to be just a great literary work, or group of literary works (the word "bible" simply means book of books, or, in less confusing terms, a collection of books). Some believe it to contain a great myth that just happens to be popular among a very large portion of the Earth's population.

Well, to soften the words of my eleventh grade history teacher, "If you don't believe in God, you're [not really looking]." Okay, so that makes the erroneous assumption that just because someone doesn't believe in the Bible, they don't believe in God - not fair. I'll stand corrected now, before I get nasty replies.

I believe the Bible to contain the word of God, and be true as far as it is translated correctly. The uninspired interpolations of man that have made their way into modern texts are really a pity, as they won't necessarily lead a person any closer to God. That set aside, it seems that some believe that the Hebrews simply didn't have a written language at various points of the Old Testament. This summer, a teenager in the Middle East found a shard of pottery that debunks that line of thinking.

The archaeologist who will get the credit for this in the history books 10 years from now believes that this is the oldest piece of Hebrew writing ever found, dated around 1000 BC. I love history! It strikes me with wonder to read of the past, when people were just living, like you and I are. The trappings were different, but the essence of the matter has always been the same. At any rate, you should take a look at the article on Yahoo!

Even if the archaeologist is wrong, it is an interesting find. And my faith in the scriptures is not based on historical evidence (which requires a certain amount of faith to give any credence to it any way).

Internship

2008-10-28T06:46:00.005-06:00

I accepted an internship offer last night! I'll be going to work for Blue Coat, a company that creates internet proxies for very large companies. For those less geeky, a proxy filters communications. This way people don't use company resources to go looking for porn, etc

They also make a wonderful free home solution! K-9 Web Protection is a filter that keeps elements of webpages from coming up, not just an entire webpage. You can configure it to be as tight or as loose as you like, have an override password, make it apply to many different kinds of webpages (chat, gambling, porn...). Visit http://www1.k9webprotection.com/. In a world where our children will be even more an internet generation than we are, I think it is something every parent should seriously consider - even if the family computer is in the living room.

So, I'm excited to go intern at this company (for more money than I've ever earned before at straight-time) because of the challenges in the job, but also because they do good in the community! They took a product that is very good as far as internet filters go, and said, "We need to contribute to the community." So they made a smaller version available for free.

If you are an Apple fan, they're working on a version for you right now. If you use a PC (really, a false dichotomy, but we'll get into that another time), check it out!

So hooray! I got an internship that lasts until I graduate from BYU! I still attend school full-time, so it's part-time right now; when I'm not attending full time, I can work full-time at this internship. Of course, there's potential for a full-time job when I graduate... So, now we see how long we're in Utah. They do have a California office...

Patriotism and Respect

2008-10-26T11:17:00.003-06:00

Students at BYU come from many different countries, and often you can tell if someone is from the United States or not rather quickly. I love the diversity of my school - it is wonderful to be a part of a global community, and even nicer when some neighbors from other countries are nearby so as to be able to learn from them. I lived in another country as a young child, and while I was there, I was taught to be patriotic toward my own homeland and to be respectful of other nations.

I enjoy being on campus near the flag in the evening when it is ceremonially lowered. A fanfare is played prior to a recording of the national anthem being played as the flag is lowered. If you've been there once for it, there is no question what is about to happen. If you haven't, you hear the anthem begin, and should have a fairly good idea that it's time to be respectful and perhaps even somewhat reverent. Loudspeakers project the sound all over campus, so if you're south of the flagpole, chances are that you will hear The Star Spangled Banner either directly or reflected of the side of some buildings. If I can see the flag and I have time, I watch as two ROTC members finish removing the flag from the flagpole and carefully fold the symbol of our nation's unity and liberty.

Wherever I may be when this nightly rite occurs, I pause when I hear those familiar sounds. I often reflect on what it has taken to obtain and to maintain the liberties that I enjoy. The fact that I'm blogging means that I enjoy freedom of the press. I am the man that I am because of the freedoms I have been endowed with - out of no particular valor on my part. Others fought and bled and died for me, and do so now. This is somewhat humbling to me. As this is my country, I place my hand over my heart when I hear the national anthem play, whether or not I can see Old Glory. I do this out of respect for and love of country. I would hope that everyone on campus within hearing of the sounds of this meaningful anthem would stop in respect (if not love). Sadly, reality is quite different.

On Thursday, as I left campus to return home for the evening, I was a few hundred feet from the flagpole when it came time to lower the flag. This particular evening, I knew I did not have time to stay to watch the flag be folded, for which I was sad, but I knew that as a matter of character, I must always make the time to be respectful and show some small measure of patriotism. So I stopped and placed my hand over my heart to watch as the flag was lowered.

I stood there, in my private reverie, and, as usually seems to occur, a few people on their cell phones, having conversations on their mobile phones about dinner, or what movie to watch, or where to go that evening, continued their conversations, and pretended to be oblivious as to what they were walking by and the anthem they ignored as they yelled above it into their phones. I assume from their accents and speech that they were from the United States. I was greatly saddened by this behavior.

If you are from this country, when the national anthem is played, you should at least stop. I find it meaningful to place my hand on my heart, as I have already stated; I hope you do too! If you are from another nation, I hope you will pause out of respect. I would be surprised to see an individual from another nation place her hand over her heart during my country's national anthem, as I do not expect this.

I am very disgruntled with the egocentricity of my generation! You are not so important that you should interrupt someone else's devotion to country. Stand quietly, if nothing else! But really, tell the person on the phone that you need to call him back in a minute, hang up the phone, and take a minute to remember what has happened so that you have the right to be so disrespectful to your country. Take a moment to remember that you stand on soil that has been cleansed by the blood of innocents, of the brave, of the courageous, of those that loved liberty - for all mankind - more than they valued their own lives! And please, remember, these men and women were people just like you; they had friends, family, social interactions, personal pleasures, things they wanted to do with their lives, perhaps dreams of growing old, rocking their children to sleep, bouncing grandchildren on their knees, watching their spouses become more beautiful and wrinkled with time... Get the point? It was no small sacrifice. Consider those that survived Valley Forge. They lost body parts, if not their lives - and you don't grow back you're toes, in case you were too busy texting in biology to learn.

Has our generation lost so much patriotism? Have you? (I don't suppose anyone in the group that I expect will read this would answer yes to the second question - national issues are a constant issue of discussion among these people who have taught me so much.) I am glad to know that so many of my generation are very patriotic.

So many folks are enlisting in the armed forces. People begin to educate themselves about politics. I don't care so much if I agree with you - your particular point of view may drive me bonkers! But if you've really thought about this, have some personal burning toward the way you are going to vote, and you do it (vote!), I can respect you for fulfilling your civil duty to take a moment to direct your government. I find that patriotic in its own very real way.

Just pressing the straight ticket button (I can't believe they even offer that!) seems lazy, inappreciative (and therefore unpatriotic), and foolish. If you vote straight ticket by looking at each issue, great! But please, think for yourself. Talk with people, debate (heatedly even), strengthen your personal convictions - if you don't have them get them by participating in this process, learn, teach, and think critically, passionately, and compassionately. Encourage others to do the same. If we all do this, we can regain our country from the politicians.

James Madison would turn over in his grave at the strength of factions in our country. Do you blindly let them rule your life? If so, if you think your party with its consistent inconsistency is always right, I submit that your patriotism could use a tune up. Parties change - the dems and repubs have nearly switched roles in the last 100 years. They can't always be right. They try to occupy extremes, and really, how often are extremes correct? Rarely, if ever.

What are your thoughts on the flag issue? On patriotism? On my views on patriotism? Is there something I have expressed that seems too extreme? (Self-checking is always good!)

Faith

2008-10-23T07:07:00.002-06:00

I'm in an ethics class at BYU that requires us to read various articles, chapters from many different books, and to write three personal application papers over the semester. These personal application papers require a principle to be applied for one week, with successes and failures documented daily. The paper should be 4-5 pages long. Right, one more thing, the thing that spurned on the writing of this posting: each day we have a reading assignment we are two write a short response to the reading. We write in two blocks on a form: "New insights gained and lessons learned while reading and pondering, or since the last class (e.g., how it applies to your life and what impressed you the most)," and "Questions that I have after reading this assignment or since the last class." I think the second part isn't really intended for rhetorical questions, but I'm okay with that - my deep and burning questions I don't expect a teacher to answer, even if he is a bishop. He's not my bishop, he's my ethics teacher.

My reading today included Acts 3:6-8, wherein Peter heals a lame man at the Temple. "Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk." As an Elder, a man ordained to the Priesthood of God I hold the same Priesthood as Peter, the same authority to heal. Given this, Peter's faith when he healed the lame man is very striking to me. In honest consideration of myh faith and exercise of the priesthood, much is left to be desired. I must obtain/develop/maintain greater faith if I would be a man like Jesus, who taught Peter to have such great faith. I desire this that I may raise up men and women of great faith unto the Lord as a father. I suppose the question then, is "Chris, how much do you really desire this thing?" I hope the answer I give through my life and actions is "greatly;" my fear is that the answer has been "faintly." I think I have discovered a worthy subject for one of the afore-mentioned personal application papers.

How is (greater) faith obtained? How is faith developed? Can faith be shared? If so, how is it best shared, and to what degree? Is it something best shared by example, as it cannot be truly imparted to another (consider the parable of the 10 virgins)?

And one more question I'll probably discover the answer to in 30-35 years, when our last child grows up and leaves the nest, "How does one best raise children to be men and women of great faith?" I'd better find an answer to this question much sooner that my 50s and 60s.

Now, I'm curious how far Ic an improve on this in 500 days. My 30th birthday is just over that many days away from now. It would be far better to leave BYU with improved faith than just a degree.

I have asked a lot of questions in this posting. Please, feel free to post your answers to any of the questions I have asked, or personal insights that have led toward answers to these questions. Just be gentle - I'm learning too. The answer may seem a bit obvious, and perhaps it is. But don't we all miss what's right in front of us from time to time? Also, the answer may be a bit deeper and involve some consideration. I'd especially love some thoughts along these lines. I will, of course, be trying to answer these questions myself too.

Nuestra Pequeñita Habla

2008-08-21T22:58:00.002-06:00

Our little girl has started talking, and it is so much fun!

She tries to get our attention quietly first, but if she can't get our attention nicely, she squawks. She was squawking the other day at the foot of the organ bench (she wanted to play), and when she finally had my attention, she looked at me and said, "Please." I didn't know she knew that word! Of course, she got to play for a while.

Just now, as our friends were leaving to go home, she walked them to the door and waved and said "Bye bye." Ok, so she's 16 months old, so it wasn't terribly articulate - but it was cute!

There's this song I love that says "when tough little boys grow up to be dads, they turn to big babies again." And he talks about his little girl. The song made me excited to be a dad, and wow, it is so true - I turn into a babbling, doting dad.

Fatherhood is wonderful, and men who chose not to become fathers are really missing out.

What a beautiful gift is given us by our Father in Heaven, to be parents. How kind to let us see just a glimpse of what He experiences in being our Father - knowing that we will eventually learn something important, and the joy when we finally master something, or begin to understand something.

I am so grateful to my wife for giving me the great gift of fatherhood.

Elder Nelson and Kind Parenting

2008-04-05T11:03:00.009-06:00

Elder Russell M. Nelson
Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Elder Nelson spoke about salvation and exaltation. He spoke specifically about how to correct our children when they err. He said to rebuke in private, not in public. He said to rebuke lovingly. “Don’t control your children, listen to them.” This is our Heavenly Father’s plan. In discussion, my wife mentioned that popular parenting methods are actually Satan’s plan: “You do what I said now, because I’m your parent!” Not allowing personal growth, this type of parenting sets young people up for failure.

How I wish that more people would parent in a kind way. Gentle discipline and attachment parenting seem to me to be along the lines of the gospel far more than the mainstream parenting style. My wife and I often speak of how we parent and how we want to parent. We are imperfect, and we're learning. We're just trying to learn the right habits now, including thinking of how we felt as children, and how our children may feel about certain actions that we, as parents, may take. Discipline is a learned attribute, not a verb. When it becomes a verb, it is almost always used inappropriately. The moment is not used as a teaching moment, but just for punishment. Punishment is dealt by the Lord at the end of things, after a learned lesson is rebelled against, not during the learning moment.

During our learning stages, the Lord corrects, and sometimes very directly. D&C 121:43: "Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy". Too many times, we interpret the word "sharpness" to be "harshness." In Spanish, the word is "severity," yet there is a footnote that makes this better understood: "that is, with clarity and strictness." Strictness does not imply harshness. It implies devoted obedience and rigorous attention. Someone once said that sharpness and clarity denote makng clear to the child what the correct picture of things should be. Again, sharpness does not denote harshness.

When my parents were harsh with me, I was unable to learn whatever lesson they wanted me to learn. I would eventually learn the lesson, but that learning came when they explained later, when they were calm, what they really wanted me to learn. The calm moments were the real teaching moments I profited from.

Virtual Musings Open!

2008-03-23T21:41:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the world of geeks! If you're reading this, you would have been called one at some point. You're in front of a computer, reading the words of some other person at a computer, thanks to folks a bit like me - only a heck of a lot smarter.

I'm a husband, father, Elder, student, musician, handyman, mechanic, and a bunch of other things. Right now, my study is focusing on geek. I thought it was minor geekdom, but it turns out that it's not so minor, after all. Go figure. In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.

Anyhow, this'll be the place I come to share a bit of myself. Some of you will like it, and identify with what I'm saying. Others will get angry. Some won't care a hoot about what I say, and still others will find it ridiculous enough to mock.

Please, feel free to comment, but don't be a hater! There is so much else you can be doing, whether you believe as I do or not. I don't want to moderate nasty comments, but I'll gladly take comments that require critical thinking to answer.

Perhaps a good place to start is this: it seems to me that our culture still tries to portray a man the same as it has for generations -- the more appetite-driven, the coarser, the less-sensitive, the physically stronger and faster, the more dominant, the better!

I don't buy it. At least, I try not to. Turns out, every once in a while, I find that I have bought into what society says a real man is, and it's a bunch of garbage! Hooey. Drivel. Whatever you choose to call it, it isn't truth. I find, when I have bought into what society teaches manhood to be, that I need to seriously consider some things, and usually make some changes. Real men are kind, responsible, driven (but not by physical passions), sensitive, strong, and know that emotion is a wonderful part of life -- not just the boisterous emotions we may show the world, but also the sad, tender, or otherwise private emotions.

For years, I was told that I couldn't be a certain way, because "real men" aren't like that, and "women don't want that." When the time came, I found a wonderful woman who loved me for who I was at the time. I have changed so much since then, much of that because of her teaching me as we have gone on. It wasn't the kind of teaching that Bill Cosby talks about on his album "Revenge" or that Jeff Foxworthy talks about when he says, "Men, women are training you! And don't you think they're not. You just think about it the next time you hang up a pair of jeans in the closet and then think, 'Hey, I didn't want to do that!'"

I'm talking about showing me different ways of looking at things. Some things I already knew, and some things she already knew. Since the time we started dating and while we've been married (5 and a half good years now), we've both learned a lot together and independently.

I'm a Christian, and so try to have Him be my Example. I try to live like Him, but I've got a long way to go yet. I remember some years ago hearing a sermon by Bishop Richard C. Edgley, called "Behold the Man." He gives two simple criteria for manhood:

A true man is strong enough to withstand the wiles of Satan.
A true man is humble enough to submit himself to the redemptive powers of the Savior.

Neither of these is mutually exclusive of the other. I find that I can't have one without the other, because failing at (1) means that I'm failing at (2), and vice versa. Bishop Edgley ends his talk to a young man with a simple admonition:

Every [man] should seek to be known simply as a man of God. That, my dear friend, is manhood.

I couldn't agree more.

If you'd like to read the entire sermon, given in October 1999, follow this link.